July 29 ... now this month is over ... The last three days of work and then leave for the entire month of August. Leave which, unlike the vast majority of my peers do not spend on the sea, mountains, around the world, or at least, at home, on the books to prepare for another examination, but in another place far less cute ... But I do not want to write about sad things, I try not to demoralize even before you begin - although it is difficult - this is the sun that shines strong today and it almost seems to invite me to come out, almost to tell me that, after all, you can exit ... Therefore, now that July is almost over, I will try to do some 'of the situation then, in reality, I do not know where to start. I am a bit 'strange to think that in August and September will be delivered in what I call elsewhere a separate space and time, away from all those that are my present safety, away - and as I write this makes me a little' laugh because I myself, I would not really ever thought you could get to write such a thing - from your computer. No Twitter, blogs, forums and anything else for a while '... just take my courage in both hands and go. Go back. Without any certainty that it can support me. Without even having 100% certainty that in October I will start my daily routine for University work. Yet I know I must go. Whichever way it goes. Close your eyes and go. But of course, I could not do that without leaving at least a piece of me, a track, a greeting on this blog. These days I often wondered what to make of this blog, exactly. In some post I wrote things that feel so personal that make me want to make tabula rasa, to delete the blog, delete it. Yet, on the one hand, I feel well I'm sorry, I would hate to delete everything I've built in recent months with a click of the mouse, this blog that I ended up feeling a bit 'as a part of me ... a little ', perhaps, like the son I will never have. I know that when I get home, in October, I will be different. You will need it to be. Maybe I reread some posts and not even acknowledge us. Or maybe yes. And that will hurt even more. This blog is a piece of me, a piece of my life. Not necessarily the best, but certainly another card of the puzzle. I may go back to write when I'm new to these parts. But in reality, as I write this, I already feel that I will not. I feel strong in the desire to start a new beginning, to break the patterns of yesterday, not to say "I can not" when I can, "I do not want" when I want, "are locked when they are totally free. Not in the past. I do not think that this blog is still meaningless, far from it. I think that might be considered rather as a "stepping stone", a first step. Maybe in October it will open a new one. Or maybe I'll open a forum. Maybe I will give birth to something new and re-use some of the posts on this blog to establish a "bridge", a solution of continuity. Maybe I'll do something different again, I do not want to know. I want to take the time to think about it. Now, however, I want to focus on what awaits me in the short term, the the future will reveal day after day, trying to do it without the rush of anxiety that usually burns me inside. Okay, maybe I was not a big "blogghettara" (I think I just invented a new word ...), but it took me all the best of me. After all, I'm still a little girl who only goes from university and work, who likes to see the Formula 1 races, which loves tATu, which has a cushion of Snoopy, who parked a little 'twisted his Multipla (which among other things, no one has yet managed to figure out what it's face if a multiple traveling mostly alone ...), which is karate, who likes to do cosplay, singing "Who knows " squaciagola in the shower ... Nothing special, no?! A normal person. But perhaps the special is its all here: to be a normal person and live every day anyway ...
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