" Never lose that feeling." The Swerverdriver sing. I do not know what their feeling. Perhaps love. It does not matter. Does not even matter that this post does not find myself when reread nessua of emotions that now afflict me why, just to cambiare, non sono in grado di trascriverle. Non sto scrivendo per sentirmi meglio. Spesso l'ho fatto, ma non è questo il caso. Never lose that feeling perchè non voglio che la mia rabbia ora mi lasci. La sento che scivola via mentre scrivo, e mi odio per la mia incapacità di trattenerla. L'ho sentito per l'ennesima volta: scandalo nella clinica privata talideitali causa medici che prendevano mazzette e bustarelle per eseguire interventi non esattamente convenzionali. Insomma, la solita vecchia storia di cui da un po' di tempo non fanno che parlare in TV e sui giornali. E mi fa incazzare. Ogni volta, mi fa inevitabilmente incazzare. Forse perchè, sì, un po' mi fa paura. Sento di questi medici che hanno compiuto azioni così petty, and I can not help but think that once they too found themselves exactly where I am now, the early students of medicine, perhaps all excited and strongly believe to be able to change something and to become good professionals. And then, what happened? How they found themselves doing what they have done? Where did all their good will, all of their ideals? It scares me, yes, I am afraid because the time that I, too, in time, could turn into one of them, despite my inner drive current. I would do anything to crystallize these my current feelings in order to maintain a day if I ever graduate, but I'm afraid they are to disband how this anger. Doctors who behave in absurd ways they make me really think that the world goes to hell. Possible that one must give importance only to the money, hide the truth to himself or commit atrocities in order to feel a good professional? There are emotions that touch us and people are not even aware of it. But I now feel this anger, and I want to keep. Why yes. Because I want to keep me able to react, to find courage. I go by the paralysis of life, from stagnant days. I do not want to be waiting to be corrupted by something purely material. Yet sometimes they are intimidated by my passivity in the face of so many things. So I would like to learn how to shake. The anger I should not lose it. I feel a little 'coward because I would act now, but have to return tomorrow, should I scream, do anything, nor do the first step. Tomorrow, I say. Tomorrow I will eat the lasagna and I do not mind I saw. Tomorrow I'll stop with all the cigarette butts tomorrow, tomorrow. I have broken. And above all, of course I know that tomorrow morning when I wake up, all that adrenaline that I feel him now he is going to shut themselves up somewhere, with my ability to be able to do something. I promettto that m'impegnerò to preserve and not to forget, but I have no guarantees, and are not very confident. I miss the liver, brain and balls, cock! Who knows if one day I will get I enable / disable my emotions by pressing a button. But then, I am no longer me. So I really hope that this anger, now, can really help me stay myself. Full
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